To have multiple or not; that is the question...

Okay, before I begin, let me be perfectly clear about this:  I am not nor do I intend to be expecting another baby anytime soon.  But an increasing number of people in my life -- my dad, my mother-in-law, my sister, my bff, the Russian cashier at Macy's -- have expressed an interest in knowing if and when I'm going to have more children.  Some, my father most notably, have told me I most certainly must have more children and SOON!!!  My mother-in-law argues that it's not fair for parents of only children to always know who broke the teacup, gave the dog a fancy new haircut, or stuck glow-in-the-dark stars all over the kitchen ceiling.  My sister says she just wants more babies to play with, and since she already has four of her own, it's my responsibility to provide them.  Such musings seem premature as Mina is not even a year old, but I'll run with it.

To be honest, before we had Mina, my husband and I talked about this quite often and had an ongoing debate about which was better, three or four children.  I like odd numbers, my husband likes even.  I grew up in a family with three, my husband a family of four.  We figured we had plenty of time to decide between having three and four children and settled on a wait-and-see attitude.  If we had three and really, really wanted another (or had three of one sex and wanted to try for the opposite one more time), then we'd go ahead and have a fourth.  Once Mina was born, all that changed.

In the early days, when I found myself confined to the couch nursing Mina for 8+ hours a day, I began wondering how people in our pioneer days managed to have multiple children while also taking care of the day-to-day chores and responsibilities of running a farm.  I figured extended families lived together back then and probably helped out when a new baby was born.  Since I live 30 minutes away from any family, 45 minutes from family who is willing to actually hold Mina, this realization didn't set me at ease.  Were I to have another child, how would I keep Mina from getting into the drill bits when I found myself quite literally strapped down with her younger sibling?  Who would stop her from eating out of the litter box when I was was upstairs handling the casualties of her younger brother or sister's butt?  More importantly, how could I manage to give Mina or her sibling the attention each deserved when I could hardly manage with just Mina around to find an opportunity to do something as simple as feed myself?

So, as I do with everything else in life, I decided to make a list.  An ongoing list of the pros and cons of having multiple children.  I realize life cannot be so easily categorized or reasoned out.  Some things, like having children, are largely illogical.  But this is how I deal with things, so I'll share with you the current list, which is, sadly, probably the short answer to the question you've all been asking me.

Pro #1:  I <3 babies.  More children = more babies.
Babies are, in short, the most adorable things in the whole wide world.  Playing with and watching babies gives me hope for the future of the human race.  They are truly perfect and don't know deceit, malice, or hatred...yet.  When she looks at the most commonplace thing as if it's the most amazing thing she's ever seen, Mina reawakens in me the ability to see the world through a new perspective...to see the wonder in things I've grown to take for granted.  Obviously, more of this is a good thing, is a great thing.  Is quite possibly a good enough thing to outweigh all the "bad" things that go into having multiple children.

Con #1:  More babies = less "free" time.
I think I remember what it was like to wake up and wonder at the possibilities a day held for me.  I could do any number of things that I've since forgotten how to do:  read a book, spend the day shopping, go for a run, relax.  When I anticipated the early months of Mina's life, I always thought I'd have lots of time to still do these things because I believed, as all those evil parenting books told me, that babies slept most of the time.  Enter Mina, the Incredible Energized and Alert Newborn.  Free time became a pipe dream once Mina was born.  And now that she's getting old and is more capable of entertaining herself, I see a semblance of this returning (read: I have a blog).  Another baby means another six months (at least) of time during which no time is free.  It's a selfish reason not to have more kids, I realize.  But it's a reality, nonetheless.

Pro #2:  More children = more dependents = bigger tax return!
I remember being so, so excited to finally get started on 2010's tax return, and now that I've already jumped in headfirst, I'm not disappointed.  Our tax break for having even one child is more than I could have ever dreamed (but not so much that the government should reduce it...just in case any congressmen/politicians are reading this).  Just imagine the tax break of having TWO children...THREE....FOUR OR MORE?!?  My sister tells me four kids leads to a pretty nice return.  I'm envious.  I love preparing taxes and finding obscure deductions; it's very likely one of my favorite things to do all year.  I know, without a doubt, that having more kids will make tax preparation that much more fun and rewarding.  Okay, I'll admit it, this too is a selfish reason for having more kids.

Con #2:  More children = more dependents = bigger tax return for a reason!
When I was a kid, I always heard parents complaining about how expensive children were.  I never really knew what they meant until I started shelling out a seemingly endless stream of money for Mina's diapers, clothing, food, doctor's visits, toys, furniture....  We've started a college fund for Mina, and when I look at it and see how far it'll take her in today's educational market (parking pass for one semester?), I tremble to think how much money she'll need when she's going off to college in 18 years.  No doubt, she'll end up with a full scholarship, right?  But the thought of putting multiple children through college terrifies me.  Let alone the thought of feeding multiple children through their teenage years.  My husband routinely ate three bowls of cereal for breakfast, entire pizzas for lunch, and once, thinking it was an after school snack his mom had made for whoever wanted it, ate the family's dinner of chicken wings all by himself before anybody else could grab any.  No joke.  I may sound old saying it, but kids are expensive.

Pro #3:  Siblings = BBFFs (Best-Blood Friends Forever).
So, I realize siblings don't always get along.  Heck, I lost my first tooth when my brother and sister conspired against me in an evil plot to make me smash my face into our homemade teeter-totter.  But when the proverbial poo hits the proverbial fan, siblings (are supposed to) have each other's back.  As morbid as it may sound, I would feel more at ease passing from this life into the next knowing Mina and her (potential) siblings have one another to depend on.  I've been blessed to have a brother and sister I can lean on, and my husband has the same thing with his siblings.  It seems cruel to deprive a child of the special kind of love (and irritation) siblings provide.

Okay, that's it for now, kiddies.  More updates to the list are sure to follow.  And please, feel free to pass along your own pros and cons.  I'd love to mull them over and add them to my list!